Hopey Changey and MATH !

My title for today is one way folks scoffed at Obama's first campaign slogan. And after two terms of Bush Jr. culminating in two years of recession and an ill advised war, we were ready for both.

Now, after nearly 3 years of the FM (4+ years counting a frightening presidential run which abused twitter by sharing a stream of "consciousness" of this FM on a national scale) I am ready for some hope and change times a factor of 𝑒 to the nth power.

As previously disclosed, I have been in a struggle with my psychologist over my current outlook as reality based (me) versus depression based (her). I think I have persuaded her that acknowledging reality and feeling depressed have an area of intersection as pictured in this
                  Venn diagram.
Style Note: my ability to choose appropriate colors for this chart was restricted. Please imagine reality as a light pastel, my depression as a lovely dark chocolate, and the intersection as a somewhat sweet, but still healthy chocolate brown.

In an awkward segue, I would like to share one of my favorite recipes. While it is true that I am no chef, I do have some culinary specialties. Enjoy!
  

Mary's Special Peanut Butter ©
Ingredients	36 oz jar Adams chunky peanut butter
Cook time	Nuke 3 min at power of 2
Prep. time	Stir 3 min with a wooden spoon handle
Freeze time	10 min upright, then 10 min. each side
	rotating a quarter turn for each side
Serving size	2 TBS	(on a good day)

I may be missing too much by not watching cable news

For the first time since the dawn (nay, night) of TrumpTimes I think there might be a reason to drop in on cable news. Specifically, a regular feature of CNN, namely TheRidiculist by Anderson Cooper. Slate pointed me to it this morning:https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/12/trump-frustrated-toilets-people-flushing-10-15-times.html?via=taps_top

I always skip reading the fucking moron's tweets, so I zipped down to the bottom of this article and watched the video. Very amusing. Actually cheered me up a bit (in spite of the expected uninformed and personal pique nature of the FM's plan to direct the vast machinery of the federal administration toward a non-problem in search of a sweeping anti-environmental step back for mankind).

2019 Chez Moi with 2 penguins

Anyhoo...........................Here is a photo of the full extent of my decorative acknowledgement of the Christmas Season, the .5 of the 5.5 seasons I celebrate in my little niche. Being a minimalist (as a sort of religion) when I moved into my current house (which I love most of every house and apartment I have inhabited) and found a niche in the great room over the gas fireplace, I knew it's purpose: To Celebrate and Contain seasonal decorative flourishes. All of my niche elements fit into one large cupboard and a big box to be found in the garage. Did I mention containment? The Container Store is essentially crack cocaine to me. So, dear reader(s) delight in the contained exuberance that is Xmas chez moi.

PS: one of the first things I did upon moving in was to extinguish the pilot light on the "fireplace". The first time I sat in a chair near by I felt the heat and sensed the BTU's being expended BY THE PILOT LIGHT. A lap robe environmentally excels at warming me. I am both smug and embarrassed by this. I thought I should confess all to my readership (as a sort of spiritual fellowship).

Failing the task to widen my world

Anxiety has led to a contraction in the degree to which I engage with the wider world. Here is an example from just this morning:

I check out Slate for the latest on the ongoing disasters (that right there sums up my expectation of what venturing from my emotional nest entails). I am offered this article:

A Majority of Republicans Say Trump is Better President Than Lincoln

My immediate mental defense is: Seriously, folks think the President who held our republic together is less impressive that the one who is actively working to render it asunder? And I decide I cannot read that. To what end? I decide to read it. This blog will continue after I have done that.

resumption of my stream of consciousness.......

Blessedly the article was brief. My head did not explode. This was from a poll that merely asked which president was better (given a "this one, or that one, option"). 53% of responding Republicans hold this opinion. No deeper insight into the underlying reasoning was sought (apparently) or offered in the article.

That went OK. But I would not be honest if I did add that I still think that the 53% of whatever slice of the citizenry was polled is soft-headed, trolling, or actually in favor of continued dismantling of our republic. Perhaps the underlying reasoning would be enlightening if not challenging to my views.

My next task, should I accept it (think Mission Impossible), will be to delve into an account where this view is explored in greater depth. In the TV show, only the tape player self-destructed. I would be sad to lose my computer, but perhaps that is better than me self-destructing.

Note: I have highlighted the times I was tempted to use snark quotation marks, but did not. I want some cosmic credit for that.

Love to you my readers, as we embark on the annual American way of celebrating Christmas. I will be mostly doing puzzles alone in my cave (nest). But this is my annual screen saver, which I very much enjoy.

 

 

A cornucopia of craziness

240 ton mining truck containing Potus agrievements

First, I wish to take issue with the use of "cult of personality" as applied to the followers and enablers of the Current Resident. That posits the existence of a personality. I've seen no evidence of such, but there is evidence of a dump truck load of:
unearned self regard
inexplicable assertions of genius and stability
occasional fleeting concern for (fill in the blank)
and, most notably, wide ranging and petty agrievements.

But (sadly) no sign of what one generally thinks of a personality with attractive qualities.

I steeled myself (as in dossier) to listen to the impeachment hearings. No, not in their gruesome entirely, but as skillfully edited by the fine folks as Lawfare.com. They offered 6 podcasts with no bull. They are lengthy and include laughable, off topic, and ill advised contributions from the distinguished" minority. If you have 12 hours or so with nothing to do you can catch a listen (while knitting, puzzling, or other semi-mindless activity). Search the site with: "lawfare podcast bonus edition" and scroll down to the one with Marie Yavonovich on  Nov. 15th. They are oddly not in date order and missing the best ones. (I promised craziness!) There is one each on the 13th and 15th and two each on the 20th and  21st. Bizarrely, this search does not find the Sondland or Hill testimonies (the best ones). Those can be found by adding their names to the end of the search suggestion above.

Now for the parting gift! Of course the internet was created to proliferate cat videos and modern life would be much more livable if that purpose was generally adhered to. I randomly discovered one well worth the 10 min. I laughed, I peed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRqYI4TvEEY

The current state of my psyche

I bet you have heard these pithy* aphorisms:

“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch 22

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."— William Gibson

“Gas lighting is lying with a purpose to confuse and control.” ― Tracy Malone 


 

The Scream, 1893 by Edvard Munch

Of course all of these have been pressed into service in my therapy sessions since November 2016. As I scramble to maintain a grasp on sanity, reality, and my rejection of murder and/or suicide as a solution to my despair these have been tiny tiny itsy bitsy pinpoints of light at the end of this fucking tunnel. 

But things age getting worse. The abuse that has pelted down from the highest position in the land, has officially become Republican talking points and marching orders as they scramble to derail the impeachment process. We are under siege from our elected Executive and Representative (and ever more often, Judicial) branches of government.

At the end of an amazing article in The Washington Post today by Catherine Rampell
there is this conclusion (and intensification) of another well known aphorism:

When you hear hoofbeats think not horses or even zebras, but UNICORNS.
 
The problem with this is that this is an aphorism is service of the rot at the core of "our chosen servants". **

                                                                Notes: 

* I did google aphorism to be sure that was the word I wanted. It was, but pithy is part of it's basic meaning. Hence here I have referenced "pithy pithy observation that contains a general truth"

** Of course I do not mean your and MY chosen servants, but those of the currently ruling minority.

Another Boo day tallied in the Fun column

My Halloween tradition for well over a decade has been to share dinner, a silly/stupid/scary movie and her neighborhood T&T'ers with a friend. Some years there has been an unwise predation of the treat basket, a few years only the necessary quantity of quality control, and even fewer years complete abstention. But there are a few guaranteed traditions:

She will do most of the door duty as she is as "get-up-and-go", as I am "sit-here-until-bedtime".
The selected movie is invariably less compelling than our off and on conversation and door duty.
And finally, we will be unable get the perfect video as there seems to be a financially motivated ban on stream-able (formerly rent-able) gems.

Oh, yes, and we both cherish this tradition. I have a sad and spotty childhood Halloween history. What stands out for me are these themes:

    Mom insisted that we be home by dark resulting in awkward and unproductive trick or treating. Usually the family was having dinner together (as this was before home computers, TV on demand and smart phones) and were confused by our tactic.

    I never gave any forethought to my costume, and hence it disappointed and/or, failed to be WORKABLE. The most notable failure was the year I inveigled my 3.5 years younger brother to be a two headed alien ghost (under a sheet with springy head thingies). Our heights, strides and moods were in opposition all night and headway was impaired by having to share a grip on the sack held between us. That was a high point in my history.

   The candy was better then. What wasn't? There was the occasional homemade treat which Mom insisted could not be trusted and hence trashed, and once a toothbrush (retained). But by and large it was a haul of sweetness which I longed to control until I was "allowed" to (in college out of state and beyond parental oversight). It is true that the lion's share of parental values were successfully installed in my psyche, but glaringly unsuccessful was any moderation regarding sweets.

So thank you dear friend for making my grownup holiday experience superior to the childhood one. I learned this secret in the 12 step club: make your holidays what you want them to be, and acquire chosen family. Thanks, Chosen Mom.

Now a fun video from our northern friends' weather channel:
https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/nasa-engineers-carve-the-best-pumpkins/sharevideo/6099530817001/most_popular

Boo!




   

I have just done something twice

(As coined by Elton) for the first and last time. At this point, I cannot be SURE it will be the last time, but it is a bet I would take. The thing done twice was a deep laugh prompted by something related to the ongoing impeachment process. The source was an AP article in today's Register Guard titled "What impeachment trial might look like". This article compares two prior impeachments (Andrew Jackson and Clinton) which made it to the Senate. Here is the relevant text from the section titled: "On To The Senate" regarding Clinton's Senate trial:
After impeachment articles are read, Chief Justice John Roberts would be sworn in to preside over the trial. Roberts in turn would swear in the 100 senators. Last time [Clinton], they also signed an oath book and kept commemorative pens the Senate produced for the historic moment, though with an unfortunate misspelling: “Untied States Senator.”

A youthful me with a youthful Galapagos tortoise

Solo hilarity ensued. Truly, I do not expect to experience additional leavening emotional outbreaks as this fatal accident (Trump's presidency) unfolds at the pace of an arthritic giant land tortoise. But I hope you too get a chuckle at least.
 😎   😎   😎   😎   😎   😎  
And this silly analogy is an excuse to insert a 1996 photo of me with a  Galapagos tortoise from my first solo trip to foreign climes.

Just WOW

This article from Slate contains a clear cry of alarm regarding a recent Supreme Court decision. This is what a court captured by "conservatives" looks like in today's struggle to maintain a working democracy. Read it, or don't, but please listen to the audio clip.
Just Wow.

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/10/elena-kagan-audio-partisan-gerrymandering-dissent.html

Again, I find myself sinking into hopelessness about the future. Had our government been captured in 2016 by actual conservatives rather than spineless lickspittles to Trumpism I would be merely unhappy. But the current crop of Republicans (formerly known as a conservative party) is almost entirely devoted to maintaining an unfair electoral edge via too many avenues to keep track of. One black example is the aborted, yet likely still very effective attempt to add a citizenship question to our census. Of course that was primarily intended to depress the count of likely Democratic voters by depressing non citizen (and even just non citizen adjacent) participation.

Ditto making it impossible to maintain polling places on college campuses, ditto voting shenanigans such as closing polling sites and cutting polling hours in districts with "undesirable voters". And don't forget the expiration of the requirement that states under censure for prior racial disenfranchisement no longer need court permission before enacting changes (surgical in precision due to sophisticated data analysis newly available) guaranteed to do what would not have passed the judicial smell test. This ensures that it will take years for any judicial challenge to work through the courts as local efforts increase roadblocks to fair representation. And now it is clear that we have a captured Supreme Court to cement these anti-democratic affronts for generations*.

Too grim? Unlikely? Rather not look?

WAKE UP. (Not you, dear readers, who are surely horrifically awake)


*Unless there is widespread conscience recovery, soul searching, humility acquisition, or a strangely targeted fatal virus.

Thus I despair

A nearly unreadable article in The Washington Post on Wed. titled  "2℃ Beyond the Limit" about Qatar in general, and specifically it's preparation for the 2022 FIFA World Cup (soccer to us) inspired this post. This event normally held in July will be held in November in Doha, as that is the "coolest" month. Here is recent data from the article:

The need to reschedule "became abundantly clear in late September, as Doha hosted the 2019 World Athletics Championships. It moved the start time for the women’s marathon to midnight Sept. 28. Water stations handed out sponges dipped in ice-cold water. First-aid responders outnumbered the contestants. But temperatures hovered around 90 degrees Fahrenheit and 28 of the 68 starters failed to finish, some taken off in wheelchairs."

Their "solution"  is to pick a cooler month and air condition open spaces.  They are cooling the outdoors where people are trying to live and work. In preparation for the 2022 event, they are constructing 8 (!!!!!!!) soccer stadiums. Truly this is an unconscionable use of carbon emitting construction in order to host crowds (emitting carbon to travel) to watch a game which could be played somewhere already capable of hosting this event.

I was unable to finish the article as is often the case when reading about our changing climate, degradation of our life raft, and aggressive denial and obstruction of (if not actual sabotage to) carbon reducing or removing activities.

Just a quicky to check in with my fans

I don't believe I have gone on record this week about my love for fall. Boyfriend and I had a very fallish jaunt to the coast in Little Guy last week. As it should be, the campgrounds are again available to SARF (school age rugrat free) adults. (BTW, built-in editor was OK with rugrat!). It was Oregon coastal glory: color in the trees, deep blue ocean, frothy white breakers, sunny cool days and crisp nights.

I was as happy as this feline to be enjoying a taste of my natural habitat: https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/snow-leopard-has-the-perfect-first-reaction-to-snow/sharevideo/6093844139001/most_popular

Another Oregonian enjoying the cool.      Photo by BF

Also adding to the bliss was no link to the wider world. Newspapers were indeed available, as was NPR radio, and I suppose some hot spots for we two smart phone antagonists. But we dodged all those hazards. We did have one odd incident. I needed to be under a down quilt (very light weight, duh) to be comfortable at 40 degree nights. This is a global oddity. I now inadvertently default to under-dressing for cooler days having lost some personal insulation. It is taking some time to believe that I might get chilly when it is well within my former preferred temp range (50 to 65). I rejoice that I am closer to the "NORM", as it tends to prevail outside my range of control. Within my range of control (my house and my car), I am finding that there IS such a thing as too cool, and too warm is scarcer. Zowie.

Fake news from The Washington Post

This did not happen. I have edited it for brevity, retaining my favorite parts (as the blog editor).

This did not happen, but it COULD have:

By Alexandra Petri, Columnist for The Washington Post

Our very stable genius

President Sauli Niinisto! Thank you for visiting the United States and President Donald J. Trump on the 100th anniversary of U.S.-Finland diplomatic relations. Can you spare a minute of your time to tell us what you thought so we can improve the experience for future visitors?

Please rate your visit on a scale from 1 to 5 stars.

3 stars

What were some highlights of your stay?

I enjoyed the museums very much. I visited several, and they were all well lit, clean and informative. I liked that they were free, just like the population is under democracy.

I do not think that either of those things should change. If possible, keep both aspects.

I also enjoyed the chairs. I sat on a chair that was large and bright yellow, with arms, and although the arms did not provide as much protection of my personal space as I had hoped and I briefly suffered a surprise touch upon the knee, it was not the chair’s fault.

Do you have any feedback as to how your stay could be improved?

Well, I have to say, I would perhaps have done certain things slightly differently. For instance, it was clear that President Trump had many things he wanted to get off his chest, primarily about someone named Adam Schiff, but also about the governor of California? I found this unseemly emotional outburst off-putting. I would not have asked him to stand there while I had an emotional outburst.

I do not understand why it was necessary for me to sit there silently like an Artek daybed (although even when they are silent, Artek daybeds make statements). He kept yelling about a perfect conversation, but if it was anything like the conversation we had, I would say it was not perfect. A perfect conversation, to us in Finland, is one in which the freedom of the press is respected and people do not shout, say inaccurate things about the European Union and give the press mean nicknames. We reserve this kind of saltiness for our licorice.

Also, I would say, it is embarrassing for a leader to hector his press and call them fake. It makes him look bad, and it is uncomfortable. It seemed as though this was the kind of thing you would want to save for later, when you were alone, after you were not trying to impress people anymore. Indeed, I started to wonder: Does he know that I am here? I am just sitting here like the "J" in “fjord”: I am there, but nobody thinks about me. I began to feel that I had blended into the chair, but then he placed his hand on my knee, so I knew I had not been forgotten.

In Finland, we are proud of our free press. The United States, too, should be proud. They should not let this man insult one of the things that should be a source of national pride. Does he do this to Tiffany lamps and the Grand Canyon?

I kept thinking, should I say something? Then the president yelled at a reporter for not directing his question to me, but when he did direct the question to me, the president interrupted and made it difficult for me to answer. On the whole, it was confusing.

I would say in the future, if the purpose of the visit is that you will be unexpectedly called upon to defend the European Union as an institution and then sit very still while the president does some personal yelling, you should specify this more clearly on the invitation so that a leader can decide for themself whether it is worth it to visit.

How likely are you to recommend the United States to a friend or colleague?

Not very.

Is there any other feedback you would like to leave?

I would like to tell Donald Trump to go to Helsinki.

Just to cheer myself up a little

The Weather Network out of Canada as you likely know by now, is a source of silly, amazing, and occasionally horrifying videos. I went looking for silly and/or amazing today.

For silly what I found was proof that I am not the only person attempting to defy the natural order of life on earth. Here is a truck driver challenging the physics of deep, moving water:
https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/semitruck-tempts-fate-crossing-flooded-roadway-it-doesnt-work-out/sharevideo/6091067556001/most_popular

For amazing look at this black hole simulation:
https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/mindbending-black-hole-simulation-appears-to-defy-reality/sharevideo/6090131246001/most_popular

And here is a partial (say, 5%) explanation of the week I just experienced regarding the chemistry of  human metabolism:
https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/the-temperature-is-dropping-so-get-ready-to-pack-on-a-few-pounds-its-scientific/sharevideo/6091068731001/most_popular


So here is a proof that I am not the stupidest driver out there, that the universe is definitely more interesting than whatever is cooking in Washington DC these days, and I am not 100% causing all of my diet woes as summer turns to fall. And damn it all, as I think I have said before:

I LOVE LOVE LOVE FALL 

https://giphy.com/gifs/6LbxewmUrp06A

Oh my goodness

First, my letter to the editor WAS published, however, under an entirely reversed headline. My point was most emphatically not : "Birthrate is Not the Problem". My most generous take is that 1) they were concerned that "fecundity" was too literate for the readership and 2) the entire thrust of my argument was too obscure for the editor. I suspect that the prior ownership of the Guard would not have treated this submission so poorly.

Viscount James Bryce

Second, I found a quote in a Slate article today that is instructive in today's drama. This quote comes from a book published in 1888, so I think it's potential for being part of today's "witch hunt" is vanishingly small.  The prophetic quote:

“Impeachment,” wrote British historian and ambassador Viscount James Bryce, “is the heaviest piece of artillery in the congressional arsenal, but because it is so heavy it is unfit for ordinary use. It is like a hundred-ton gun which needs complex machinery to bring it into position, an enormous charge of powder to fire it, and a large mark to aim at.”

Here is my take on impeachment activities during my lifetime:

• President Richard Nixon:    a large glowing mark
• President William Clinton:  a trivial tribal target
• President Donald Trump:     a radioactive threat to democracy

Don, he means you. 
 
The Three Key Questions of Impeachment House Democrats have pulled out the “hundred-ton gun.” By Laurence H. Tribe

More people, whatcha gonna do?

Today in the Register Guard there was an article on Page 1 highlighting some population and income data from the early 2019 mini census. But it is not until the page 8 continuation that a reduced birth rate was bemoaned as a threat to our economy.

On page 4 was an AP article on the greatest threat to our economy (and also life on earth): climate change progressing faster than previously anticipated.

I am sending this to the Guard's mailbag today. I have scant hope it will be published, but if so, I expect it will be followed by published opinion pieces wherein the fact of human impact on the earth is in no way linked to our ever increasing numbers and/or an argument for how capitalism (meaning economic growth) is the only solution to climate change.

Polar bear arrested in Paris in 2015. Sad.

"Again I read in a Gatehouse sourced article that a declining birth rate is a problem. If the earth needs more people to thrive, I have yet to read a single science based assertion of that fact. The earth is suffering from our fecundity, and our economies (as currently structured and narrowly defined as people buying stuff) benefit from population growth. I am reminded of the most cogent protest sign at the 2015 Global Climate March: "You can't have a [expletive deleted here] economy without a planet."

I so wish I had kept a copy of the sign. Here is one I did keep.

Yeah, it's Fall and I come alive. Deal with it.

I have been sleeping more normally, in other words, getting up no earlier than 4 am and falling asleep after 9 pm. I am slapping "normal" on this improvement and calling it good. Also, with mornings both lit and cool, I have been weeding my yard. Those who know me well should struggle back into your chair and hear me out. I still hate hate hate dirt under my fingernails, but stupid gloves help. Also, my psychic as well as physical energy levels are very high (psychic:fear and aggravation at all time record levels, including when my Mom was doing her worst at me and physical: duh, fall). Also I crafted a way to make weeding personally rewarding: I growl while pulling out noxious elements in our government (yard) and chortle while binning (impeachment, seat taking, firing, even battering (McConnell)). Most neighbors have already left for work, and I must conclude the rest are cowering behind their curtains. Fall, glorious fall.

The dumpster fire that is the legal process of attempting to exact proportional harm to the Opioid Pushers reminds me of my all time favorite Gahan Wilson cartoon. It has really stuck with me due to it's dark humor which I encountered reading Playboy magazine in high school (courtesy of Dad*).  In case you cannot read the sale signs: (Left) Iced Drink 5¢ and (Right) Iced Drink Antidote $1.00  ---or is it $100 ? I can't tell.

Here is why I sought it out, and actually paid $11 for a one-post license on my blog: the structure of the proposed settlement with Purdue Pharma includes the creation of a "public beneficiary trust" which would continue to sell Oxycontin and give away opioid treatment-related drugs that it's developing. The treatment drugs are still experimental and are not available. See the evil echo in the cartoon? Of course, the antidote will be "cheaper" to buy - excluding life altering costs.

*This is the back story on me, Dad, and Playboy.
While I never asked him why he gave me access, I think I know: he did not trust Mom to report that a woman's sexual pleasure is natural and to be enjoyed. Certainly Playboy was an imperfect view of women, but so was my Mom's living version.

As a side note I did have one uncomfortable Playboy interaction with Dad (Mom was in the room too) when I was telling him how funny I found Bill Cosby's piece on desperately seeking pussy as a youth. [I KNOW, I KNOW, yuck]. As I had never encountered this "euphemism" for a vagina  in my reading or peer interactions (I sussed out the meaning from context), I assumed this was his personal funny substitute word.  [In retrospect, using an actual slang word is MUCH less funny] Dad interrupted my enthusiastic gush with: "you DO know that is an actual term, don't you?" Oops. I did not lose my access, in fact, he was probably even more convinced I needed some schooling about the wider world. I did and still do.

More wit and wisdom from A.Word.A.Day

This week's theme is Shakespearean insults and includes the use of a famous one in our time and in the wild:

My  hero, Ruth Davidson

“Time was, everyone mauled Mr Trump. Boris Johnson, now the foreign secretary [now the prime minister], said he betrayed a ‘stupefying ignorance’ and branded him ‘unfit’ to lead America. Ruth Davidson, leader of the Scottish Conservatives, turned to Shakespeare: ‘Trump’s a clay-brained guts⤋, knotty-pated ⏬ fool, whoreson⧬ obscene greasy tallow-catch⧭, right?’”
 A Difficult Hole; The Economist (London, UK); Jan 28, 2017

⤋    Doltish; stupid
⏬   Blockheaded or thickheaded
⧬    An unpleasant or greatly disliked person
⧭    A very fat person

I hope you enjoyed my use of insert-able special characters each of which has the so subtle as to perhaps be missed implication that this F**king Moron must be taken DOWN.

I would absolutely KILL (not naming who) to be able to wield Shakespearean insults in real time and from memory. I deeply admire obtuse, dry, inventive insults. Here is one my dad (Elton) coined that has always amused me: "His wit is as sharp as the jagged edge of wet Kleenex". I however must ply my snarky "wit" on my obscure blog for the uncertain amusement of my reader(s) and the life saving "creative" outlet it provides me during these devolving times.

A bit of Eugene in the glory season

Let's insert a photo and fun but unrelated video here. Clever segue, yes? The video is from our friends at the Canadian Weather Network. My reaction was a mixture of WOW! and hmmmmm. Good minds are working on non-carbon based power generation. However these two little steps forward are matched by no small amount of backward leaps by controlling powers in our beleaguered country. BUT! we are but one country (with an outsized impact).

https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/this-futuristic-panel--can-generate-electricity-in-the-dark/sharevideo/6087524273001/most_popular

New word (to me) intersects one of my political protestations!

New word: dysphemism from the link:

https://wordsmith.org/words/today.html. Note: this only works as today's word, well, today!

MEANING:

noun: The substitution of a harsher, deprecating, or offensive term in place of a relatively neutral term.

Republicans are masters at this "skill". The first example that sprang to mind was the replacement (in reference to a tax) of Death for Estate in order to gin up unfounded hysteria in the minds of the 99.8% of those who will never pay this tax. https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=what+percent+of+taxpayers+are+at+risk+of+owing+estate+taxes%3F
My goodness, that substitution actually works on the hue level too: the red font is so much more threatening than the blue font even though they are on the same font color chart intensity level in this app. (Or is Blogger part of the deep state cabal?)

Other footprints that come to mind are illegal and alien for UNDOCUMENTED. My god! it even works when the neutral word is in all caps, versus lower case demonizing terms.

And in some cases, an identical term wielded by a Pacydermically aligned speaker such as "poor"
carries the weight of approbation that doesn't weigh down the message following "poor"
when being referenced the donkey defenders. I looked for a clear example of what I mean on line, but was stumped by this fact: it is not usually the actual words following a Republican description for how to "help" the poor, so much as the actual proposed solutions. Here is one:

Principles for Poverty Alleviation
Four principles summarize the approach:
• Solve the right problem. The problem is not poverty.
The problem is that too many Americans are not
self-sufficient.

(from "Reducing Poverty the Republican Way" via the Stanford Center on Poverty and Inequality)

So, these benighted folks are not actually poor (which some might pity), just not self sufficient which I guess means that they could escape poverty if only they could do so without help.  yeeeeesss....... Oh! Right! Highly achieving drug purveyors have shown the self-sufficiency to escape poverty without asking for a handout. We need more of that of outside-the-ghetto thinking among the poverty stricken. 

There, I think this screed exemplifies perfectly the state of my political protestations to the pickle Republicans manage to ensure is on the value menu for America.

 

FALL ! ! (In case you missed yesterday's blog)

This morning I performed my second favorite holiday ritual: the replacement of Summer with FALL in my living room niche.  (Note for the future: my first favorite holiday ritual is simply noting that it is Arbor Day, nationally recognized on the last Friday of April.)

I am in awe of folks who decorate up the yin yang (wazoo) a for favorite or any holiday (extreme awe). I use the word awe here as described on Wikipedia:

      The term awe stems from the Old English word ege, meaning “terror, dread, awe,” which may have arisen from the Greek word áchos, meaning “pain^".

Being an extreme minimalist (except when trying for humor in a blog, obviously), I experience holiday decorating awe as about 95% Old English and 5% regular awe (i.e. as a positive emotion). Here is my solution to wanting to recognize seasons (I have 5.5 of them) without breaking my budget, a sweat, or a small storage footprint. Except for two large door wreaths and a stock of votive candles, I have the entirety of seasonal variation stored in one (72" tall, 30" wide and 19" deep) cupboard in the garage for less than a cubic yard.

 

And here is my exuberant visual homage to Autumn as experienced by fortunate Eugeneans. I have spent approximately 8 lifetime autumns outside Oregon, all on the front range of Denver. As I lived in Houston (not by choice, best forgotten, and horrific beyond the telling) from a Feb. thru a bit of Aug., I can only assume the fall there also sucked. 

Hence I have enjoyed nearly 60 amazing seasons. Yes, I am counting my first few years alive which not actually recalled can be interpolated. While Colorado's two best seasons (spring and fall) were lovely, they failed to rise to amazing as they flashed by in a great hurry to get either to cold or too hot while remaining relentlessly sunny.

 

 ^{--- Please excuse the wacky font selections and sizes as I experienced interface technicalities which I have tired of trying to overcome. There is some fall outside waiting for me to participate.}

Ma Nature is PISSED

I follow tropical storms on the Weather Underground site:
https://www.wunderground.com/hurricane.

This video is available on their Dorian update today. Click to get a link to this awesome sight:

https://twitter.com/i/status/1167997827743567872


For more evidence that we humans are puny in the face of Ma I will share the most dramatic photo I have depicting a storm cloud going biblical. I find extreme weather fascinating, but prefer to experience it with no interruption to my creature comforts: lots of awe and no oh crap. (see Note Below)

Do you imagine that Republican politicians in Florida and up along the east coast will have a climactic "come to Jesus" moment?

We can only offer our prayers and hopes (which show little effect on Ma's moods).

By the way: "FALL !!" sung out in my joyous welcome to coming cool, color, and guilt reduced cocooning while binge watching some fool thing. I will be doing this everywhere I go (and whenever anyone comes to me) for a few weeks so consider this a TRIGGER WARNING.

Note Below: Extreme weather is fascinating; climate change however is an existential threat which evokes some awe and a butt load of oh crap.

Must see video

Considered by many wildlife biologists to be one of the most intelligent land animals of North

America, bears possess the largest and most convoluted brains relative to their size of any land mammal. In the animal kingdom, their intelligence compares with that of higher primates. (from PBS Nature)


https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/on-cam-bear-breaks-into-car-with-ease-reminder-to-lock-your-doors/sharevideo/6074750217001/most_popular

True THAT, Yogi Bear. 

Breaking radio silence

I think that phrase is usually associated with clearing enemy territory and hence able to communicate with home base. To be clear, I do not feel that I have cleared enemy territory as our country (and to a lesser extent) other countries are suffering under fucking moron control (aided and abetted by our Senate and now our Supreme Court).  See? I have just been stewing in an undocumented manner. It helps when I document (blog out) my stew; sorry dear readers.

My splenetic (new word for me! very useful) trigger was this humorous article in Slate today:
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/08/paul-ryan-moving-back-dc-beltway.html?via=homepage_taps_top

I used to despise Paul Ryan with the heat of two Suns, until that was eclipsed by the degree to which I despise Mitch McConnell (estimated at 18000 degrees Kelvin, about 3 Suns). I can be close minded, stubborn, knee-jerk, splenetic, and inconsistent BUT, I cannot compete with the diamond-studded-platinum-award-winning level of hypocrisy and venality displayed by these two. One must be dangerously naive and/or stupid and/or blindly partisan to stomach either one. Just saying.

Wow, are you still there? Here's an update on the towing experiment:

Maiden voyage with Little Guy (LG) launched August 8th with plans to find a "walk in" campsite on the coast near Florence and stay two nights (mild temps allowed me to be OK with no A/C hookup capability). Of course I needed my boyfriend's assistance (hitching, driving, parking, unhitching; repeat in reverse). In short, I can likely tow and park in a pull-thru site by myself, but cannot at this point imagine ever hitching and unhitching and backing into a site. So, my skills are at the level I mastered with prior van-based RVs. Progress? You be the judge. We had a great trip and the only mishap occurred within the first 5 min. of me taking the wheel in Newport to drive home. I cut the corner too closely (I have always prided myself on NEVER executing a "farmer's turn" like some hayseed) and one trailer wheel mounted and dismounted the curb.

There was a lasting consequence which I did not discover until the weekend when I was prepping LG for her next outing. The unique and definitely too sensitive bed support system spontaneously opened at an angle when I tipped her over a curb. I have been working to get it back in operating condition but have not yet fully (i.e.actually) managed it. It may require service by Kiefer, an exorcism, or both.

Oh, there was one other little oopsie: on day two both of us blithely drove off in the tow vehicle for a long jaunt and returned near dark to find LG (ready for any one with a compatible ball mount to drag her off) still there! I had joked when we realized our gaffe (failure to lock the tow ball) on our return drive that it would OK if LG was stolen. I have excellent replacement insurance for a short while after purchase and I could recoup nearly full cost, sell my gas hog tow vehicle, and purchase a Prius or similar high mileage vehicle. I am considering taking that lock of NOW. It is possible towing will never be a good fit for me. I began this experiment AS an experiment. As all data driven researchers know: unless you can fit reality into your theory, the theory needs revision or banishment to the land of theories entirely without merit.

Revised Pain Chart

A dear friend has and will be experiencing pain that well meaning caregivers will want her to quantify. As pain is entirely subjective, she has already received (TWICE !) "surprised" responses (too high; too low) to her best guess at her current level. Does this remind anyone of a bear related children's story?

To be of "help" as is my wont, I found a set of 10 faces corresponding to a hierarchy of some sort of distress. I used this to tailor one for her and her perceived pain experience.

I was successful in giving her a giggle. I hope she takes it with her to future "pain experienced trick exams" as her otherwise compassionate and capable caregivers provide more care.

Pain Chart for the Modern Age

As could be anticipated by any ALERT READER (see note 1 below) of my blog, I am already working on one I can use in therapy (the head shrinking kind). This scale will be a measure of my current relationship with my cave (see note 3 below).

Note 1
Dave Barry had a column in the Miami Herald in which he frequently waxed humorous on some news article submitted by an ALERT READER. When I did an internet search to see when he last posted I discovered that he likely never stopped. Silly me: when he disappeared from occasional publication in the Register Guard (back when it was an ACTUAL local with actual reporters and such) I assumed he had moved on to hilarious book production. He has produced many such, but apparently HE can walk and chew gum simultaneously. I can now get this column by subscription.

Note 2 (which grew out of Note 1)
Has anyone else noticed that the miracle of internet content streaming has led to a balkanization of content resulting in the forced choice of a) no longer having access to that which is desired or b) paying another ransom? Well I sure have, and I miss the prior state of nearly everything I desired available under option: "of course it is included in what your are already paying for."

Note 3
My cave is both corporeal (a beautifully spare, comfortable home) and spiritual (assuming I have such a dimension). It is a critical tool first acquired in childhood, refined and solidified beyond reason, and employed when I am overwhelmed by everyday human  existence. Primarily it is due to the over AND mis use of said tool that I need head shrinking.

The wit and wisdom of Lindsey Graham

Who knew this guy was so slyly and dryly humorous? He should have a late night show of his own. Here is what tipped me off:

(From Slate article by William Saletan)

"Lindsey Graham, the Republican senator from South Carolina, has a theory about President Donald Trump. The president is a “narcissist,” not a racist, Graham told reporters on Wednesday. A racist hates everyone of a certain color or ethnicity, said Graham. A narcissist, on the other hand, makes exceptions for those who flatter or support him."

That odd analysis certainly does make F**king Moron seem more lovable (in the way that discovering poisonous jelly fish are devoted parents makes them a good pet option where dogs and cats are banned).

Seriously, I had me a private, cold sober (no THC on board) spontaneous guffaw at 5 am this morning. Something that rarely happens when I logon to Slate to get informed of the latest affronts to sanity and decency that the national news now dependable delivers.

Friendship

My history with friendships is narrow, but perhaps deep. I expect to do some depth plumbing soon. First, a little about friendship in my "youth". I put that in quotes as I was a first born to a very neurotic mother and I acquired a sister at 1.5 years, and a brother at 2.5 years. Apparently, from what Mom told me and my current understanding of my formative years, I did not fully inhabit all the standard developmental stages. For sure, I skipped the rebellious teen stage. My sister had such a lock on that shtick that I tried to balance it with compliant self reliance and pseudo maturity. Actually, to be fair, according to some very fine shrinking, I chose that path while still in a crib.

However, I managed one very close friendship in high school: Mary Ann, who I can now see was quite unlike me. In fact, I think that might be the theme of my friendship history: "you, Mary, are a neurotic and uptight little quasi adult and you need to hang with someone more fun than you."

I barely survived high school (emotionally) as it was stocked with high school aged people with whom I felt little (and wanted NO) identification. Mary Ann was my port in that storm. Sadly, we lost our connection when I left Oregon for CSU (like OSU) and she stayed in Portland and went to Reed.  Our choices could not have been less similar. We both married before graduation (though I think she finished, as did I), and we both chose a man who would later need to be divorced. She married an alcoholic (THAT is why she was drawn to me!) and I married a very damaged man who suffered from depression (expressed in anger outward), while my lifelong depression expressed in anger twisted into something just as difficult to live with. The divorce gave us both a chance to get happier.

My friendships in college were similar (few and close) but none survived the inevitable parting of the ways. Themes I have discerned: I am drawn to smart, witty, irreverent, fellow misfits. (If you happen to be one of my friends, please do not be alarmed. You are likely just pretending to be a misfit in order to meet my need for you to seem like one.) Also, it is apparently possible (if not required) that my friends be VERY unlike me temperamentally. I know you must be different in two key ways: you must have a greater desire to be in the world than I, and you must be able to survive my minimalistic tendencies, especially as regards how much time I can be with others. I see myself as an outwardly jolly nihilist who cares about others, but mostly at arm's length. I do care deeply, but being consistently emotionally available is an Olympics level feat for me.

And attracted to opposites

So, dear friend who is still reading this: know that I dearly WANT to be a solid touchstone, a ready ear, a port in the storm, and USEFUL. However, I am me, so please bear that in mind.

Now, an uplifting video:https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/massive-pod-of-dolphins-race-boat-along-california-coast-wow/4108330236001/6059961641001/most_popular 

Also a fun photo to "bear in mind".

Treachery abounds

Content Warning: topics today concern two of my current nemeses

First, most serious nemesis: GRAVITY (lifelong and ramping up)

In a gay mood I headed out for a pleasant bike ride around 7:30 am. It was cool, a little overcast, I was breakfasted, sun screened on the minuscule unclothed regions, and wearing my new long-sleeved, high neck Coolibar shirt which fits like a short sheath dress.
https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07JH14MVX/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I had a lovely hour on the bike path toward town and around quiet streets in the Whit. Waiting for a pedestrian walk sign to recross River Road (my days of dare-devilishness, which never existed are so over) when while straddling my stationary bike trying to perfect the pedal position, I fell over on the sidewalk, banging my left elbow. I could tell it was not serious, but I took a moment for all the witnesses to drive on before further amusing them with my getting up routine. A sweet young mother with a tyke in a jogging pram crossed from the adjacent corner to see if I was OK. By all non-ego measures I was (but I suspect my new Coolibar shirt was christened with my blood). It was.  So, at the next ped-xing light I WALKED across and down a block to my home street. Where I bravely got back on the treacherous gravity-allied bike and rode home.

As it was all of 64 degrees by that time, I was all sweaty, and a bit bloodied. I rinsed blood as needed and put my shirt, bra and bike gloves to soak in cold water.  After I finish this blog, I will ice my elbow, which is not hurting, but surely will at some point.

Thanks to Bob Thaves

Second, and semi-serious nemesis: KALE 

A good friend who has gone to the dark side smoothy-wise (where my trainer and perhaps other loved ones are already residing) and is "enjoying" veggie infused and fruit improved smoothies. I wish her well. She suggested that I might wish to delay this rant until I have actually tasted one. But that would critically impair my freedom of uninformed expression. (Also deprive me of a silly rant.) As you can see from the entirely unaltered comic I am not alone in this opinion.


 

Oh dear, I lied to the internet

My snarky post about the "features" of my RAV 4 had some errors.

I say "some", as I am leaving room for additional errors I have not yet discovered.

So, one CAN save a desired radio station by holding down the button on one of the available slots, albeit only for FM stations.  I culled this useful tidbit from my sales guy Chris Vann at Lithia Toyota in Springfield. I mention him specifically as he was patient with and nonjudgmental of this aging Luddite.  I was aware, as he asked to take over pushing the buttons on the system in question that HE was my former self taking the mouse from my Dad when his efforts on the computer became too halting/wrong to abide. I hope I wrested control from Dad as graciously as Chris did from me.

Here is something that made me laugh out loud from a Slate article titled "Salty"https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/06/clif-bars-are-trash.html?via=homepage_taps_top

"Kind bars are ideal for restoring yourself to human being status when you’re in the middle of a meeting-packed day at work, finished with a tough workout class, or on hour seven of a road trip.

Clif bars are perfect for getting as much fuel as possible for fleeing stray animals in a post-apocalyptic scenario, where even a faint reminder of a world that contained things like “carrot cake” would be sort of nice. They will be a disappointment to most other people. If anything, Clif earns points for the sheer bravery of picking a fight with a clearly superior product."

I think I recall that a good friend of my boyfriend, whom I too enjoy, may swear by Clif bars. If true, I will be sure not to rely on any snacks he might bring to an event.

A meditation on unintended consequences

When I saw this video, I wondered if there are Trump voters out there who discern this phenomenon:

https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us/videos/gallery/mustsee-jellyfish-gets-trapped-spinning-around-bubble-ring/sharevideo/6046506433001/most_popular

The snorkeler:            any T voter who just wanted to see what would happen
The little jelly fish:    American democracy, our standing in the world, etc etc retch
Result:                       a vortex of unanticipated chaos with potential fatal outcome

That seems to sum things up tidily for this aggrieved lefty.