Blogging for Equanimity

As November draws to a close, I am gearing up to maintain a degree of equanimity about the CHRISTMAS SEASON. I put that in all caps, as it becomes the background beat even before we pick the turkey. Last October I was shopping in a local home improvement store (Jerry’s) and discovered Christmas décor in full display. Oy

Here is what I enjoy about the season:

Rainy stormy weather leading to cozy in-home enjoyments

Christmas lights and décor, even (or especially) including folks who go beyond all out
A very small number of Christmas songs, and only on my terms

Christian observation of the birth of Jesus – in their homes, churches, etc.

My screen saver for December (pictured here)

Good deals on warm slippers (now I am just reaching)

Here is what has in years past eroded my equanimity:

The silly fight over “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” or get stuffed

Claims of Christian suppression and governmental hostility (ahem: tax exemption)

A frenzied focus on shopping, parties, running around frantically to do everything

Annual opportunity to feel my disconnect about the “giving season”

That last one has legs for me. I am resistant to scheduled gift events. I prefer to be generous when feeling so. The expected reciprocity of gift exchange makes me quite uncomfortable. My family history with this is deep and old. So a major portion of my seasonal angst is quite specific to me. I am going to work to keep that tamped down when in the presence of those enjoying things I simply do not. It will help if in my presence you don’t bemoan perfectly normal weather for December.

Black Friday

I don’t like to watch election night results real time; I wait until the following morning when I am as ready as I will ever be to face the new reality. As a left leaner in a blue city in a blue state I was not prepared for the gut punch that was the election of Trump in November 2016. From the first second of his presidential run (which I could only assume would be taken as the joke it was), until Wed. morning following the election, I could not fathom how anyone took him seriously. My theory at the time was that his followers were no longer capable of discerning what policies were in their best economic interests (my take on non- wealthy folks supporting the dumpster fire that the Republican Party has morphed into).  But to fall for such obvious hucksterism was beyond understanding. My second theory was that some folks were so angry with economic and social changes and so distrustful that any vote would lead to what they wanted, that they decided to throw the ugliest available wrench into the works: Trump. That made (misguided) sense which turned out to be VERY effective.

Later I learned that lots of folks held their noses and voted for the Republican candidate (whoever the fuck it was) to get at least one more conservative Supreme Court judge (the seat stolen by the scruples free Mitch McConnell and his minions). Also, should they continue to hold the Senate, they could pack the lower courts with more judges who saw corporations as America’s primary constituency because that was what our founders had in mind. (I could not disagree more)

So, in addition to Trump’s election which was an existential threat to our democracy, continued support for Republicans in Congress sealed the suicide pack for this country.

Too strong?  We will see. Will we be able to restore a working political system for the majority of Americans, and regain some respect from the rest of humanity? Will voters comprehend the dark forces that they have unleashed? Will we be able to overcome the current capture of representation by a minority of the population? And most critically, will we be able to reclaim our original organizing principle: Government by and FOR THE PEOPLE?

So, although I have always voted my values, it became crystal clear that was inadequate to today’s crisis. Politically awakened, I increased my support of charities supporting families in need and added support to the RESISTANCE. Here are my new support commitments in the political arena: ACLU, Protect Democracy.Org, and Equal Justice Initiative

Wow, impressive use of the checkbook! (That was sarcasm) I am still trying to find a local resistance group to work with. I do not find myself impressive in this fight, but I have not retired from it yet.  

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."George Carlin

Hey You!

I am not simply blogging for my sanity. I am also blogging for Mother Earth. This is how I think my blog might help: I am going to address my concerns to hypothetical readers who may give little thought to what many believe are urgent threats to our climate. My mental image of this reader is someone with eyes closed, fingers in ears and chanting “la la la” to ensure that distressing information does not get in. I SO understand this urge to focus only on the good things in life and the things that seem to be within one’s power to fix. But I am insuffiently medicated and therapized to allow me this choice.

My therapist expressed concern that I am trying to get folks to join me in the 

IT IS HOPELESS AND I AM FULL OF DESPAIR CLUB. 

Not at all. I wish I did not occasionally attend this club’s meetings. I want mankind to rally to save our spaceship (Planet Earth) from the impacts of our population explosion, resource consumption, and environmental harm.

I will endeavor to be informative, compassionate, and humorous (either intentionally or inadvertently) because I want to add to the many voices of rational and focused concern. Fingers crossed!

 I have one share in corporate Earth, and I am nervous about the management. -E.B. White

Glorious Autumn

Western Oregon has been enjoying our most amazing of falls: cool sunny days, cold nights, and slow motion wardrobe changes by trees and bushes. Our summer stressed lawns perk up, preparing to remain green all winter. We are running short on rainfall this season, with a dry warm winter predicted. These have become more common. As a full blown Oregonian (born and deep soaked here) I love our wet winters. For me, water is life. I could happily return to earth as an Oregon coast bog plant. Be assured I am aware that life requires insolation (sun beating down on my head) but I relax in and feel cared for by cool dampness.

I spent about 6 years on the front range of the Rockies in Colorado. There the best of seasons (spring and autumn) were fleeting, while the cold and hot extremes were interminable. But most missed (perhaps only by me) was the comforting sound of tires swishing on rainy pavement. On the few occasions when this occurred I was gripped by a physical pang of yearning.

I submit this contradiction in my choices: while preferring to live in the most clement of locations (according to my preferences), I am irresistibly drawn to Earth’s least clement location: Antarctica. I have been twice to this otherworldly continent, once approaching from the tip of South America in an ice strengthened ship, and then from Tasmania on an ice breaker. The first expedition included South Georgia Island and the Falklands, and visited the archipelago of Antarctica which arcs toward Terra del Fuego. This trip afforded amazing icebergs and encounters with seven penguin species.  The ice breaker was needed to approach the Ross Sea to encounter Emperors. This took us through ice pack, near 

glaciers and ice sheets. 

I cannot possible articulate the wonder of this place. But I can explain my fascination with life in the coldest, driest, windiest place on earth: What was evolution up to? As a possible location to set up house, this continent seems to lack basic survivability.  But nature is quirky that way. There is bacteria that lives on methane and sulfur in scalding water vented at the bottom of the ocean. So in comparison, huddling with a crowd of fellow Emperors in the long dark winter at the bottom of the world waiting for your mate to return from a long journey to get fat, so that you can take your turn seems fairly doable.

Not for me mind you. I’m a complete comfort junkie.

Changing Things

There are so many things in the world, my country and my heart I want changed. The only likely way I can make worldwide changes is to act on a local and personal scale. Today I will discuss one of my footprint reduction choices. I am not telling you this as “virtue signaling” because it is unlikely I will get to feel smug in your presence. Rather I want to share the ways I lessen my harmful impact on Mother Earth to reinforce my commitments and to (perhaps) encourage others to make changes too. Here is the article I read in Slate that really sparked this line of thought:

Reducing Your Carbon Footprint Still Matters  

The earth is a closed system water wise. We cannot economically and environmentally create more clean water (existing water can be cleaned at a cost in energy inputs).  So, I like to envision the earth’s clean water supply like a motor home fresh water tank. I used to kid my mother about how she could take a shower in their moho with a cup of water. And of course, it is possible to refill an empty moho water tank from the hose at home, a state park, etc. But the earth cannot do same. So, I conserve water very consciously. I am currently fortunate to live where increasingly frequent and serious water shortfalls have not YET required this action. But why wait? The water I squander could be trucked to a nearby need. Also, making changes voluntarily is resulting in a change in me along the lines of “Be the change you want to see.”

So, I wash my hands in tap water (cool to cold, I don’t care): turning it on to briefly wet them, off while I scrub with soap, and then on to rinse. I use diluted dish soap as it rinses quickly. Disclaimer: I do not have much up close interaction with many possibly sick folk and rarely get sick myself. I will resist the temptation to discuss an over focus on germs. Your results may vary.

I have cut the time in the shower too. First, I use a bucket to capture the water it takes to get to shower temperature. In the dry season I water plants with this. In the wet season I use it to rinse the bath after my shower (while being open to better uses). I use a use liquid soap on a wash cloth to soap first my northern hemisphere, and then southern. During this process I enjoy the warm water down my back. Then I shampoo and rinse. A final rinse of the nether region with the shower wand, and all clean. There are local public hot tubs where I can sate my craving for a lazy submersion in warm water.

Two years ago I replaced my small front yard with an Eco Lawn Fleur de Lawn Blanche  which needs no fertilizer or weed killer, less water, and less frequent mowing. Also it is more wildlife friendly, including bees!

Must stop now. If I ever gain a reader’s attention, tedium will surly lose it.  Be well, be green.

An Obituary for Life on Earth

This opinion piece will never be published by any mainstream source.  It is too bleak in the suggestion that it is already over for us on earth. [PLEASE let me be spectacularly wrong.]  I have chosen the haiku three line format as a discipline to condense what could become a non-stop howl of despair.  Disclaimer:  Traditional haiku is an appreciation of something in nature.  These haiku are angry obituaries for our biosphere.

This play’s final scene

Was written unwittingly

Farce and tragedy

Our worn life raft leaks

Every next indulgence sows

Unjust tomorrows

Choose what is easy

Grab profits without a care

Spread all losses

Our frail life raft leaks

Full of thoughtless tiny holes

Stop drilling to bail

More people plus less

Water and arable land

Yields world wide hunger

No overflow rooms

No emergency air lifts

A closed system globe

While it survives complete destruction planet earth will continue to evolve as it always has. Humans may go extinct (along with nearly all other forms of life) but our planet will likely still exist for untold eons, perhaps even long enough and fortuitously enough to create life anew. I grieve for the loss of our beautiful and hospitable Eden of a life raft.

What Haunts Me

On most days my top existential concern is for Spaceship Earth. It is the tiny fragile container of all life in our corner of a vast universe. Many refer to it as Mother Earth, encompassing the concepts of birth, nurturance and devotion. My global concerns fall under the all inclusive topic: Life on Earth. I see action against global warming (or climate change for those confused by the varied and multitudinous impacts of warming) as not only critical, but urgent for continued life on earth.

We have squandered irretrievable decades since the impacts of carbon emissions on our atmosphere (hence climate) were identified and quantified by climatologists. Had we (the world, but especially the largest contributors to atmosphere degradation) begun then reducing carbon based economic activity, not only would the transition have been easier and cheaper, it would have lowered this threat to earth over the decades we actively increased it heedlessly.

Here is a pithy sign seen at the 2017 Paris climate talks:

            “You can’t have a strong economy without a fucking planet” Author Unknown

I belabor this due to our unwillingness to consider this reality: Life as enjoyed in the richest economies is unsustainable and becomes exponentially less sustainable as population increases and demand for these comforts widens. At the same time as demand increases, essential inputs such as fresh water, readily available minerals, arable land, and livable acreage of our spaceship decrease.

A friend read an earlier version of this post and suggested that the outline/ lecture style was not as immediate, readable and compelling as just writing about it in the way I think about it. However, I have no intention of simply writing a stream of opinions, prejudices and fears as they bubble up to awareness. Goddess knows we have enough of that on line.

Rather I am writing for my sanity and I hope to spark increased awareness and concern if read by another. My sanity requires that I am real about my level of existential dread, hopelessness and anger. But equally critical to my sanity is humor, whimsy, cat videos, the wit of others, and as a real sanity boost: agreement that this is reality, not simply a wallow in despair. Laughter elicited by silliness, whimsy, and dark humor all sustain my sanity. And I unapologetically consider myself a very funny depressed sort of person. All my friends and some acquaintances agree.

Here is one of my favorite quotes:

 “Coffee can help you live longer, unfortunately.” Author Unknown

An Experiment in Staying Awake

I am struggling to stay awake. Both ACTUALLY awake and spiritually awake. I cannot pinpoint the moment in time when earth's climate trajectory became a personal concern. Many years ago, certainly. But it became a looming peril in my imagination immediately following November 8, 2016.

I am not going to focus on politics, per se, but as someone once quipped: everything is political. I have been a regular voter, who until recently did not feel entirely powerless. Feeling powerless and fearful is a particularly deadly combination for me.

A personal blog will not increase my power. But it will allow my voice to reach the webiverse. I do not plan to count visits, hits, likes, responses, or any other attempt to quantify the reach of my voice, as I am going to ASSume I have been heard!

I write to put my swirling mass of anxiety and dread onto a page that might help me stay awake and more willing to be alive. If someone else benefits from this activity: frosting.