Cribbing from a much funnier writer

Dave Barry has submitted his annual review and roast of the year Barry's 2021 now coming to an exhausted close. I know I am exhausted mentally, emotionally, and clearly imaginatively. Hence my suggestion to get some inspiration from a much funnier source. I have embedded two excerpts because I have vowed that "no post of mine will be misconstrued as pithy".

2020 Olympic Games 

In Tokyo, the pandemic-delayed 2020 Olympic Games (motto: “Later, Smaller, Sadder”) finally get underway with the majestic Nasal Swab of Nations. This is followed by the ceremonial lighting of the Olympic Torch, which for safety reasons is a small vanilla-scented bath candle that is immediately extinguished to prevent it from attracting crowds. Let the Games begin!

Milk crate challenge  (which I previously was innocent of, eschewing social media)

Dave's excerpt From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (shortened a bit by me)

The milk crate challenge is a video challenge that became viral online in August 2021. The challenge involves stacking milk crates into a structure that resembles a podium, with both sides of the structure functioning as stairs.

Due to the instability of the stacked crates, participants often fall while ascending or descending the podium, risking serious injury. Falling during the challenge has led to a variety of injuries, including dislocated shoulders and rotator cuff tears, ACL tears, meniscus tears, broken wrists and even spinal cord injuries. 

Not on topic, but silly.

Back to your favorite blogger now.

As ever, I had no plans to attend the Olympic Games in any year and during any or no pandemic. Also, now that I am aware of another Darwin Awards qualifying effort (which can lead to injuries I can easily sustain while tending to my bird bath) I am going to skip that too. Exhaustion and a desire to drink a second cup of coffee while observing the result of a much hyped snowmageddon for the Willamette Valley, (currently approximately at the depth of scant) but still coming! Cabin fever here I come!

 

 

Do I see light at the end of the tunnel?

At a recently concluded conference of seriously concerned and concerning Republicans (in and out of office and their minds) gathered to hear from the most enlightened of their ilk... Lauren Boebert pranced while bloviating (taking Trump's podium skills to a new level) and pronounced:

I am tired of having Godless people who hate America run this country! You and I are going to take this country back!

So am I!  And so should we!

But perhaps she did not mean godless in the way I define it: Being a practicing follower of a belief in the value of others irrespective of faith, nationality, gun inventory, and support of Unbounded Capitalism.

Also, I think she may hold the opposite view of what demonstrates real love of America: Believing in the founding principals of our republic, while acknowledge we are still working toward that ideal while employing the Constitution and Bill of Rights as the means to this goal.

Clownfish risk "virginal"pregnancy.

So I must conclude that either our sides live in different realities (like matter and anti-matter, which cannot successfully be allowed in the same "corner" of the universe). See note below.

OR we now use a language in which antonyms and synonyms carry the same meaning. This seems like a hermaphroditic quality. Consider one of nature's practicing hermaphrodites: the Clownfish. Do we wish to give birth to all our young (or in this case, all our ideas) without any contribution from others of our species? Where is the fun in that? 

Note: as a "journalist" I occasionally do a slap dash check of a fact deployed in my irreverent take on the larger world (everything outside my head). I employed a simplified idea of matter/antimatter. As it turns out not merely simplified but entirely wrong. Here is the one place I checked Matter - Antimatter, and decided, WTF, I have as much credibility as nearly everything readily available online. So, I persist.

My conclusion: we ARE living with matter and antimatter now. That explains quite a bit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

biological progress for humans? Hmmmmm

Also, note that we see this creature as clownish. Is that really where we want to go with our god created bodies?

 

 

Aging is a process of loss and aggravation

I likely do not need to state an obvious side effect of piling on the years. I have just "celebrated" putting 70 of them, one after another (with neither gaps, nor transpositions) into a pile - which is me.

And I am mostly quite OK with being ever older (who isn't except the dead?) But being OK is an individual thing. I don't long for prior periods of my life, although I admit sometimes I did not make anywhere near the best of them. And knowing that, I still routinely fall short. At a birthday celebration in my deep water aerobics class we were admonished to: Enjoy the health you have today! A gutsy admonition for a group of mostly women mostly older than me. But then the obvious occurred to me: this is likely the healthiest many of us can (or will) be. Yikes!

But enough on the aging process. Let's talk aggravation. A common symptom of menopause (irritability) which I thought I had dodged was in fact doing push ups with a clap and box jumps of 36 inches during the intervening decades. I mention these two exercises because:

A) Very fit folks can do these physical power moves and 

B) I either cannot, or suck at doing such physical moves, but 

C) I EXCEL at difficult and extreme negative mental activity. So those mid life years with few evident emotional eruptions, were actually when vast pools of molten emotions were working their way to the surface.  And here they are.

Favorite empty purse on left

Today's example: my most favorite ever purse  has a damaged strap which renders it much less useful. It's unparalleled qualities include:

1. Very light weight at 9 oz. Hence I only lug around stuff I want; not so much lugging the container.

2. Nylon fabric which is machine washable and dry-able. Obviously useful.

3. A handy open pocket in the back for easy access to my pocket calendar, shopping list on the back of a used envelope, and several expendable pens

4. All other interior areas are lined in light blue, while the exterior is a yummy brown. I prefer a dark colored purse, but for GOD"S sake use something light colored for the interior. OR, and this is now common for purses which are black holes have a very tiny hard-to-activate light bulb. Activation takes one hand and fails to illuminate much.

5. The 4 pockets from back to front are large, medium, small and smaller. The three sub pockets are arrayed from deepest to shallowest on the front. As a compulsive organizer I can go right to the desired pocket for what I know will be there. Hence, reduced pawing, swearing and ultimately dumping it all out to find something.

New fully loaded purse on right

6. And best of all, it is a tidy 9 in. tall, 7 in. wide and 3 in. wide at the bottom. This means that when loaded it can sit upright. 

And because of all these desirable features, including an original price of  $33 in 2012, it is no longer available. Because fashion! status! one for each outfit! boredom with things! and other consumer tendencies which are at the heart of our unsupportable lifestyle.

In summary, I am much much more than irritable. I am incandescent with outrage at needing a new but not improved purse.  So there!

 

Season's greetings (and a few video suggestions) from the dark side

First I must acknowledge a seasonal mindset adjustment. One of my readers informed me that last weekend was a "holiday weekend". As a many-years-now retiree with a tenuous grasp on the date (always what day, often the month, and only occasionally which decade) I was confused about WHAT holiday. As it turns out our society treats every December weekend as the annual SHOPPING Holiday. Not quite a recognized religion, but perhaps the most actively attended one nationally. No official holiday designation is required because as Americans we begin observing and participating from a very young age. As you can readily discern, this is not my chosen "acquisition faith system": I am a minimalist tree hugger*.

In spite of this well-known quirk (within my small friendship circle) I am occasionally sent a holiday related card which I receive with joy.  However, when it comes from outside this circle (real examples: Guarantee RV, other frequented vendors, and charities I support - which should better use my contribution) I get annoyed. But being lazy I exact only the penalty of trashing it, which is sadly exacted against mother earth and hence only indirectly against the resource squander-er.

This is my first seasonal card of this year which minimalist-ikly covered Xmas, New Year, and my December B-Day. And perhaps unknowingly finely attuned to one of my reading and viewing preferences: someone gets murdered** therein. This is where my VERY sublimated murderous rage is allowed to play. I used to be easily triggered by fearful scenes on TV and in books. But my hide has toughed (likely not 100% to be desired) and now I cannot manage only the very difficult depictions (eg: torture, and ever since a memorable scene in "The Lone Ranger" - quicksand). An example of the bullet-proof-ness of my hide: I laughed at "The Exorcisit".

Sent by one of my inner circle I was encouraged to view the bordering portion as if from a crime scene! It's very special when I am well known and STILL liked! Dexter was my (so far) favorite serial killer closely followed by the main character of the Amazon series: "You".

Enjoy the Holidays as YOU see fit!

 

*By this I do not mean I wish to only hug an appropriate number of trees; I embrace both minimalism and all of Mother Earth, except not so much the hot, buggy, muggy places.

**I am very opened minded about this, as I can also enjoy an absurdly unlikely accidental death when tastefully depicted (especially the one in "Six Feet Under" when an LA area jogger's run was ended by a mountain lion!) 

 

Health concerns (not alarming, just maddening)

First, I received a warning message in a dream last night. Apparently, while I have been launching a near daily seek and destroy mission against post menopausal facial hair in my brow, lip and chin areas, there has been substantial enemy incursion in my cheek areas. In fact, I had an incipient Civil War style beard putting down roots. Happily, like nearly ALL my dire dream accounts, this is not (yet) true.

John alerted me to an OPB account of PBM's with the Orwellian official name of Pharmacy Benefit Manager. It is not really a manager of benefits so much as it is a manager of the profit portion allocated to the players*. Spoiler alert: less and less over the past decades as these entities have consolidated and grown like cancers (my words, OPB is less straightforward). This has become an existential threat to pharmacies across the nation, but especially in Oregon due to an unintended effect of the Corporate Gross Receipts Tax in combination with how PBMs have structured the payment and purchasing schemes for their captives.

After getting a bit into the weeds via that report I think I now understand what is at play in my choice of Medicare Part D plans for 2022. This year my best choice was a mail delivery option via CVS Caremark. I had decided that the grief I got during the later half of 2021 getting two of my quarterly deliveries of prescriptions might require either a change of carrier, or a change to a local pharmacy. I researched this weeks ago and to my surprise, the best plan for me was with the same carrier, but with a local preferred pharmacy (I chose Walgreens). The surprise was how much MORE it would now cost to have a mail service. But based on the info from OPB, all too predictable.

My Mood Today

The financial squeeze put on Pharmacies by the PBMs (more correctly standing for Profits Belong to Me) left them with no financial survival strategy but to cut back personnel. Thousands of pharmacists and assistants were let go, while there was not only no reduction of work (filling, billing, advising, etc.) but an increase as the remaining shops had to absorb the customers whose pharmacy had closed.You can get all the unhappy details in this report if you think I am exaggerating: https://www.opb.org

I expect that the degraded access to pharmacies, and the degraded service at overwhelmed pharmacies will result in lower Rx costs for the Part D provider due to unfilled and unfillable scripts than the costs of the easier to fill delivered Rx. As I have a one month surplus of my regular drugs I am going to take my chances with the likely delays at Walgreens over the predictable annoyance and higher cost of a home delivery plan.

* Named Drug Mfg, Generic Drug Mfg, PBM, Insurer with prescription drug benefit (including govt. insurance), and pharmacy (roughly in order of possible available profit).

Here I am AGAIN

By here, I mean April 28, 2019: my blog post conundrum. Well, not EXACTLY the same, as you will agree (but only if you re-read the related post herein referenced).

Blah Blah Blah.  Here we go.

As of April 2019 I was a fully paid up Register Guard delivered paper subscriber. I once again had financial scruple consonance. This state continued until  March 2021 when I decided that the paper version of the local "rag" was too sad to continue. So I cancelled it and awaited the remaining balance of the year I had paid for.

I then experienced a local news blackout as I haven't sought television news for perhaps a decade. John suggested I go to online local news sites. I didn't. He showed me the online version of the Guard, and I decided to give it a try ($1 a month for six months). So I signed up, but decided that to avoid any confusion at the RG billing dept. (Now Gannett) I created this account under my secondary email address. I believed I had succeeded at this task, as I was charged for my first month: July 2021. I accessed RG on line and kept up on local news, local deaths, and Wed. through Saturday NYT crosswords*. And then, darkness once again descended. About two months later I was suddenly unable to log in. I even tried logging in under my prior email address. And there I was, with a fully paid up account. But I could not get online access. I procrastinated about a month and then called the only phone number I could find. It had a diabolical " customer service" phone tree which prioritized wanting a new subscription (paper or online). There MAY have been a chance to discuss a current account at the end of the Desperate Offers of Free Gifts From A Dying Product options tree, but I only lasted through 1.5 of them before saving myself and hanging up**. 

Somewhere I found a link to send an email inquiry. I bit. It warned it would be a delayed response, and it surely was. In addition it was completely unhelpful, except it gave me the phone number to call for assistance. As per above, I had been there, done that and remained help-free. But I decided to try one more desperate call, and this time I would immediately begin answering "No" to all desperate offers. This time, for unfathomable reasons, my THIRD choice was to connect to a PERSON🎆. He was patient, tried things, stayed on the line while I tried things, and then did something to activate my account. I was back with access! But billing is still not happening. I think I will just let the $5 I owe for 5 months, and whatever they may want after that just go the way of errant electrons. I believe that I have tried to assist their revenue flow to a reasonable, prudent, and sincere standard. I am OK will failing my strict financial honesty standard in this case. I have been beaten, but not broken.

* Mon and Tues not worth printing out and Sunday cannot be printed out.

** First desperate offer for anyone over 65 was a free emergency call button. Second desperate offer for anyone........I no longer recall. But it left me wondering if instead of extreme discounting the cost of a new subscription and offers of a gift they simply made it worth purchasing. They might survive a few more years as the value continues to devalue.

Breaking news: breaking dam in Northern Idaho

 

This map was in the Register Guard today without adequate explanation. Apparently the heavy rainfall (depicted in green) in the NW has breached dams in northern Idaho, spilling southeast. This is a visual depiction of Nature's system of planet balancing (GAIA). 

Perhaps, like you, I am wondering why THIS particular imbalance was the first modern example of Nature "balancing forces" to achieve conditions favorable to life.

I agree with Nature that the concentration of hostile, armed and pathologically misguided citizens in such a small area was a strange anomaly. And no Google search to date has explained WHY there? and WTF?

But we must applaud any attempt by Nature to re-balance this suffering planet and it's still extant life forms .

Here is an explanation of the Gaia hypothesis, which does not mean that it is WRONG. It may be bad, or not science. It may even qualify as a religion. If so, I am going to see if it is a 501c3 under US Tax Laws, and if so, I am going to ramp up my climate related contributions dramatically. Also, in light of THIS intervention, I will redirect my political contributions to a force which appreciates our threatened democracy and has proven it's determination to ACT NOW.  

Much can be "learned" on line

The scare quotes in the title are shorthand for when learned information is actually DIS. Yeah, you learned something alright. Now you are effed.

 A few paragraphs down in a WaPo article about China vowing to discontinue building coal fired plants for developing economy countries. I found these two paragraphs:

"Even as richer nations look to drive down carbon emissions to net zero, many low- and middle-income nations remain hesitant to set similarly stringent targets, in part because doing so would mean often abandoning the most readily available source of electricity: coal.

That reluctance is a problem for any hopes of a global solution to the climate crisis in Glasgow."

I had to reread that final sentence, as I was unaware of a climate crisis in Glasgow. I think the "in Glasgow" should have come following hopes.

Of course this awkward wording was unlikely to reinforce a prior belief in Glasgow's imminent tornado, flooding from a dying glacier, or other climate crisis looming over the gloaming (geographical fusion humor).

No, today I am turning my serious concerns (wrapped in my self described wit) to activate your alerts to the more subtle and hence more embedded  misinformation we absorb on line while intending to learn something.

1. This is everywhere: in photos of people, famous and not, wearing some form of a covid inspired face covering either a) not actually a useful mask (bandit bandana) or b) a potentially useful mask worn so as to fail. Notable examples of that include 1) tucked under the nose and 2) with obvious gaping gaps at the cheek level. Every one of these photos should include the disclaimer: VERY FEW COVID DROPLETS WERE PREVENTED FROM DOING THEIR WORST BY THE PICTURED "MASK".

2. Tilt-a-Whirl nutrition information. Photos of recommended healthy servings are thick on the ground and often oddly deficient nutritionally for the aesthetics of the photo. This annoyance in addition to the yoyo recommendations such as coffee good/not good/excellent, tea better, red wine good, but doesn't grape juice have the same anti-oxidants? Oatmeal with blueberries is an excellent breakfast. But will FOUR berries do it?

Petty nit picks? I suggest not. I suggest these seemingly harmless visuals imprint in minds and lead us astray. I also read that Dr. Fauci is trying to kill puppies. A photo of this atrocity being performed would lend that seemingly unlikely accusation much more weight for those difficult to delude.

 

 

Truth in geography

I believe it is seriously past time when we step up and call it like it is when we name anything on planet earth. Erudite people have long grasped the transience of our planet's crust, aka, where we all live. For example, the proper designation for an ocean beach is: temporary depositional feature. This is one of the few facts I retain from my college geology course (also, that going west into the foothills from Ft. Collins, you can identify the oldest formations easily as they are the grayest - but this is not universal).

This idea of being truthful popped into my head when I checked the NOAA weather site as I do daily. Often, in addition to asking for the Eugene SWAG (scientific wild ass guess) I also check out Florence as my dream of where to be during hot spells (aka, coming climate).

I was interested in the details underlying the Sunday-Tuesday high wind and coastal flooding alerts. This caught my eye under PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

"In southwest Washington similar conditions in the past have resulted in 

significant flooding in Raymond, erosion to homes and roads near Washaway

Beach along Highway 105 near North Cove, and/or erosion to campsites near 

Cape Disappointment."

NOW that's an honest, unadorned, and reassurance-free name for a beach! And likely a Cape.

We need a more honest name for Eugene such as:

Allergy Central, Hippie Dale, Gluten Gap, or Ungovernable?

But don’t worry about your address labels, we cannot agree to much of anything.

Frank and Ernest by Bob Thaves

See how much disappointment can occur with dishonest or poorly researched place names?
 

 

 

Losing another touchstone to my youth.

But first, think about the recent task force created by President Biden: "Supply Chain Disruption Task Force". Maybe it is just me, but it sounds as if their task is to further disrupt the beleaguered supply chain. Apparently clarity of intent is not only of little concern, it may well be deliberately ambiguous in case it's outcomes tilt toward a worsening of the identified problem. Actually, a necessary and convenient fall-back interpretation of what the task force was indeed tasked with. Much like tasking Jared (of the untroubled mind) with sorting out that pesky Middle East. It has, in some way, been maximally sorted; as women of Afghanistan will confirm.

Now to the larger scale problem at hand: my sole remaining college electronic device has reached an untimely end. Yes, perhaps, a stereo component having a problem-free useful-life of over 55 years may seem remarkable. And I bet it is. Will the more au courant versions of this component have even a quarter of this long and faultless life span? Probably not, as we now expect electronic thingies to prematurely age, become unsightly, and embarrass us in the company of Early Adopters (common name: Beta Testers).

But I am this to my very core: a lazy, frugal Luddite. I already have much more technology than I know how to operate. WHY would I speed up my relentless slide toward technological incompetence and penury? NO!  This girl just wants to be able to play her CD's. I despise streamed music as I don't have complete control of what I will hear. I want to hear my favorite albums in their published form without interruption, or worse, scrambled with some algorithm-identified tunes. ENOUGH! If I want an anarchy of undesired audibles, I will tune in a radio channel. 

The electronic old war horse I mourn today is my Marantz Model 1030 Console Stereo Amplifier

I tried to disconnect it entirely, but was unable to trace back to the wall plug. Here is a photo of it "in situ" but askew. I just googled that silly description and got this:

Scholarly articles for askew in situ

The distribution of estrogen receptor-β mRNA in … - ‎Shughrue - Cited by 237 In situ localization of sodium-potassium ATPase mRNA … - ‎Crump - Cited by 30 In situ monitoring of the effect of ionic strength and pH … - ‎Knobloch - Cited by 7

An old concern put to rest

In a blog post on February 9, 2019 I expressed some concern that the traditional Presidential Library might be a poor fit for the then occupant of the presidency. But I think this political cartoon from the WaPo has the answer: 

Cartoonist Mike Smith 10/2/2021

In addition to the rich trove of tweets, videos of incoherent repetitive  rallies of misguided fans, and combative reality-free press "conferences" from the White House,

THERE WILL ACTUALLY

          BE BOOKS

Perhaps not books that informed the Former Occupant, but absolutely on his favorite topic:   

 🎆🎉🎈HIMSELF 🎇🎆🎊

I am feeling disconnected.

Perhaps it is because I disconnected. I have failed to blog since early September. I have had many intriguing ideas, but of course I do not recall any of them. Hence I will spend this time on the many out-triguing thoughts that plague me.

First, I think I have finally deciphered Cleo's "love language". By this I mean her actions meant to prompt me to show her more love. 

When I am at my computer within a short time she will meow plaintively at the office door. This means: I am here waiting to be reminded how much you love me; please invite me to join you, and I will hop on the desk and pace back and forth as you coo and pet me until I am bored of it.  

I am lying in bed reading and she will meow plaintively from the living room. I will call to her to no avail to come join me. She will not come. This means: I know where you are, but I want you to come here. 

I sit on the couch for a read, or a "bit" of TV and she will sit near my feet and look up plaintively. This means: Of course, I know you WANT me to jump up there to snuggle with me, but I always want you to ask for this as if for the first time ever - so I know you do not take me for granted. 

And on and on. Neither of us seems to tire of this "love" dance.

A few weeks ago, before our blessed cool spell with heavenly rainfall, having HAD IT with getting dressed to go to Winco, I decided to go in my double layer of nightgown and house dress sort of garment. Many of you will know EXACTLY what this looks like. To top of this breach of decorum (who cares anymore!?!) I draped a refrigerated cooling shoulder wrap over the top of this outfit. I also had HAD it with sweating as I shop because:

1. I am over insulated as well as of running hot since birth and

2. I am wearing a mask that makes me feel as if I am in a steamy jungle.

I suppose I got some censorial glances from fellow shoppers, whose opinion of me stopped mattering a few decades and (on a higher scale) a pandemic ago. Later that week, I read some article which mentioned a NOW "hot" dress trend (of course they mean popular with trend zombies, but occasionally also very hot in the worst sense). I have not seen this yet in Eugene, but that does not surprise me. And TADA here it is: The "nightgown dress". Wow! I love it. Short nightgowns with gathering above my, you know, are marginally (very) flattering and bind no where, while allowing breezes to waft up and under. I do not intend to purchase such an item as I have this genre on hand. And now I wear it EVERYWHERE!

Many folks deplore the softening of public standards of appearance. Seriously? With the deliberate destruction of our democracy and the un-intended yet still active destruction of our climate and ecology why on earth would clothes matter?  My stand is: if YOU keep warming the planet, I will wear whatever is the least problematic for me!

 

Fall!

I am available for personal appearances at your home, place of work (possibly redundant) and social masked gathering. I will bring my unbounded enthusiasm for the best of all seasons and my signature:

"FALL" in an exuberant falsetto with both arms flung high to the heavens. Free of charge. 

small print: non-consensual; no request required

I am aware that we still have warm (and possibly too hot) days ahead of us, and the risk of smokiness until the season's rains can come to quell spontaneous combustion. At least this year is not as horrible as last year (yet).

 

 

Also guilt free binge TV!

On a sad, or just confused note: my squirrel friendly back yard is un- squrriled. Are they hanging out in your yard? Is this a seasonal shift? Have my offerings become passe? Do I need to stock some resident wildlife? 

There seem to be quite a few "domestic squirrels" living in homes with the blessing of the human occupants (from trusted source:YouTube). There would of course be some destruction, but boy oh boy would Cleo be more entertained and aerobically fit!

 

 

And finally, this little video depicting my "fall is here" emotional state. Hedgehog happy dance

Inquiring minds...encounter reality

Green looks bigger; purple feels heavier

 I am currently having my personal trainer come to me twice a week for a 30 min. session in strength(A), flexibility(B) and balance(C) as qualified below. For several weeks now, I have felt that my mismatched 3# weights are not the same weight with the purple one being noticeably heavier. This holds true even when I switch hands, which I do to ensure that one arm is not getting an advantage over the other. My body is a symphony of symmetry in which I want no discordant chords. Again, it was my frugality which led me to purchase mismatched weights at "Play it Again Sports" because despite the color difference they were both labeled as 3's.

Today I decided to reveal this deception once and for all (i.e. Twice in Eltonese - see 4/8/2019 post if unfamiliar with this usage of  "twice")

I used my cooking scale (mostly used to weigh envelopes actually being snail mailed) to weigh each weight. I then did a bit of dimension research due to the weighing results.

Here are the counter intuitive results: I was entirely wrong. A concrete example of what feels obviously true to me can be patently in error.

I should feel humbled, and I do. Reality is stubbornly insistent on being the final word. And we mortals always lose when we engage in a test with it (Her).

A. I am maintaining a decent amount of strength needed for every day tasks such as ambulation and  awkward but possible getting up in defiance of gravity.

B. My flexibility needs more attention over more time than I likely have left. But I persist.

C. Balance is not a concept I hew to as a rule. Physical balance is an on/off capability challenged by uneven ground, the prior day's pot party, getting up from seated too abruptly, and tripping on shadows.

And in closing let us celebrate the athletic and comedic styling of the humble squirrel. This video is somewhat repetitive and occasionally of poor quality BUT there are some gems scattered in to the end. If you can spare 7 min:
Quirrels!!  (misspelling intended)

John's Gourmet Pizza

I should have asked him if HE had a moniker for this creation. But I am fired up, in the mood to blog, and don't want to wait for his next awake period (currently under renovation). The enclosed photos were courageously taken by the accomplished chef himself while under the waning influence of our Tuesday night pot, (another p-word), and pizza party. While I was still pinned down by the cat he got a ladder to get  better photo angles. I would have stirred in the event of an audio alert from the kitchen. Really.

I was expecting the first photo to show a medium virgin Papa Murphy's thin crust half Papa's Favorite and half Herb Chicken Mediterranean Pizza. But I guess the idea to take photos occurred Post Pizza Perfecting and left us with:

All trimmed out and ready for the oven 

Here I have rotated the photo so Papa's Favorite half is in the Northern Hemisphere. 

On the cutting board you see the remains of slicing and chopping one entire sweet onion (this time smallish and from a friend's garden). 

Not actually discernible on the pizza are the rest of the pre-oven additions, detailed below.

This shot is the one where perhaps you can discern the various onion shapes created to either survive cooking, or placed on edge and sticking up in order to become singed in delicious sacrifice. 

Also a closer look as the culinary and medicinal inputs (left to right)

Beano - obviously medicinal and not a topping

Red pepper flakes - added later by each diner

Fennel seeds - generously sprinkled

Papa Murphy's Herb and Cheese Mix - VERY generously "sprinkled"

Gourmet olives John adds to his after cooking.

Right out of the oven. Now comes my contribution: cutting it into 8 unequal sizes so we will have something more to talk about.

Please forgive my poor photo editing. I have only mastered a few "fixes" and show scant inclination to expand this capability. Also note that incredible aroma and flavor do not photograph well

I have recently heard an apt description of my "falling quite short of expertise" condition in all undertakings: A Renaissance "Man". In my case this is: Aspiring only to the minimum effort my inner perfectionist/sloth negotiated.

 

 

 

Oh the horror

Only read if you are willing to grok what this new and "enhanced" summer weather does to me.

What I had going for me:

I left for Winco at 7:45 am (even that late there are still many stockers blocking aisles).

1. I used my car A/C , when usually it is not necessary at 70 without high humidity.
2. I was wearing a neck drape from the freezer.
3. I only wore my mask in the store.
4. I was wearing shorts, a short sleeve shirt and sandals.
   
5. In the car I had a hand towel for mopping my face, and used it.
6. My home A/C is set at 70, which works for me only if I don't exert AT ALL.

What was not in my favor:

The temp was about 70 with 64% humidity. At that point my body just keeps pumping out sweat in a futile attempt to cool me down. It was a full body sweat with it streaming off my head.

I decided to provide the sodden details of why I am so averse to heat. I am sitting on a chair with a chilled pad, covered by a towel for absorption. I have a fan blowing on my face, and the ceiling fan on high, and a small fan blowing up the skirt I am not wearing. I am only wearing a short all cotton summer nightgown. I am also drinking chilled water by the quart (I had 2 quarts after getting up).

It is now a little after nine and after toweling off my hair the dripping has ceased. I cannot report on my public presentation during this foray, but I would not be surprised if I had a wild and hunted expression in my eyes (still masked).

Sort of losing quite a bit of weight (which if I were working at it would still take months) I honestly do not know what I can do to manage my misery.

Please do not respond with suggestions I get acclimated (I have gradually moved my A/C from 65 a few years ago up to 70). Please do not send me ideas for cooling gadgets, clothing, etc. I own everything that has proven to work, and a few that only do a little bit.

Just do everything in your power, budget, and willingness to mitigate the climate crisis I believe we now inhabit.  And this is prior to the inevitable local summer smoke inundation.  oy

This reminds me that autumn coolness is likely still scheduled for 2011

Happy polar bear cub

 

 

 

Beaver mania

I am re-reading "Eager Beavers and Why They Matter" by Ben Goldfarb. These guys could play a very large role in healing our environment. They love water, are dependent on it and conserve it (like me!).

Here is a brief video explaining some of their wonderfulness:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cyPyEQ4OHI 

Boyfriend caught this guy (gal?)

My current aggravation is my neighbor across the street who is clueless about maintaining a resilient lawn and best practices. Every summer once he has started watering, he waters EVERY morning. This prevents the grass from growing deep roots, which help it survive a reduction in moisture (should it occur in this case) and periods of higher levels of groundwater loss. As it happened, we experienced quite an early, warmer spell this spring, and although EWEB had not yet made available weekly watering guidance, I put some moisture into my eco lawn environment. He had a routine, and stuck to it, and within a few days his lawn mysteriously died. I suspect no hardiness had been built up. Sadly, he asked a friend/yard guy (1) what might have happened. He was told it did not look like something killed it (eg: fungus), so it just needed to be re-started. Never mind this was in mid June, warmer than usual (2) June in Eugene. He was told to aerate, then heavily seed, then aggressively water. Of course he is on that path. In addition his sprinklers are misdirected and keep some driveway, side walk, and ultimately sewers well watered too.

He is a good neighbor, and I quite like him. He has done neighborly things for me. I am uncertain if any suggestions from me would be received well, and I don't want to damage our slight, but friendly interactions (I have good reason to not trust my communication skills in this area).

Nursing kit, so cute, and soft!

The fact that North America was beaver infested until it was discovered that the beaver's under coat was excellent HAT material is the genesis of environmental destruction in what was a very rich continental eco system. Beavers CREATE rich eco systems and pump up the water table. The current activities to re-establish beavers in the too dry west should be given more support and resources. STAT! If you want to read more, this article is readily available, otherwise you will need to wait until I return the beaver bible.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmental_impacts_of_beavers#Invasive_impacts

1. What kind of yard guy would suggest trying to revive a lawn once summer has commenced in earnest? I would have waited for spring and delighted in no mowing!

2. Warmer colder dryer (etc) than usual is becoming a problematic assertion. Normal is being revised rapidly. Previous normals will not be returning, perhaps ever.

There's a lot to this TED talk

And some additional connections I made. This is a short, engaging summary of Barry Schwartz’s “The Paradox of Choice.”: https://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_the_paradox_of_choice#t-1159965 

Years ago when I had a moho I occasionally wanted to take a two vehicle jaunt with my friend Julie. And it was inevitably more fraught to make a plan than I could imagine. She suffered greatly for fear of choosing a less than optimal option. Consequently, many times we never got to a solution. She stayed home for something she thought might turn out better, and I did my own jaunt. I can somewhat empathize as I often am tortured with a different version of decision paralysis: is there a choice which meets my needs and desires without being unnecessarily complicated with options I don't desire? (smart phone)

I did not need convincing that our choices have become overwhelming and for me burdensome at times. At the end of the talk he hints at a possible re-calibration: The affluent societies (and in the US, the affluent PORTION of society) could voluntarily scale back their acquisition of things and big experiences and reap the benefits of less pressure, more deep appreciation of what is chosen and reduced pressure on the environment. The world is close to or past sustainable use of resources (clean air, clean water, arable land, and many other important components of modern life) and currently impoverishing the planet of biological diversity. Our current pace of using, owning, and despoiling is unsustainable and ultimately a path to a poverty of options. 

I, for one, hope we can choose to limit our impacts before our ability to choose no longer exists.

Sorry, but this topic always takes me to dark imaginings.

Here is an example of what human ingenuity and accomplish toward less destructive life choices:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No6qTbn0J4s

 

 

Heat control triumph

Today I tried out my new air flow car seat. My previous experience using car A/C at 65 degrees resulted in a large demerit to my eco score.  I believe I wrote about this in 2017 when I purchased my recent Prius. At the end of each trip (when I turn the car off) I get a combined score which rates:

acceleration, braking, climate and mileage. 

The climate one gets dinged when I use A/C. Although it may not bring my mileage down much, I still don't like the censure. It has suggested I increase my target temperature to lower the impact. Until now, I have been unwilling to do so.

BUT NOW with my powered air flow car seat cover, I can feel air behind my back and under my seat. The air is pulled from between my legs, so I set the car A/C to split between head and feet. When I first got in, I did not know the cover was already on low, and I immediately felt the flow even before A/C! As the ride warmed I was able to increase my A/C to 70 degrees and feel more comfy than with more aggressive A/C alone!

AND my eco score for climate was only a little dinged. As the Brits say, "I am chuffed". A comfortable seat cushion which for a reduced carbon footprint delivers excellent comfort. If only there were a planet wide cooling cushion!

I need to share some humor from an Amazon product deep dive

I need to replace my mesh-back cushion that I use for cooling in my car. It has a 12 Volt plug. The small fan in the middle of the back blows ambient air, which is quite cooling when my back is sweaty as it so often is in temps exceeding 70 degrees. I know, I am a mutant. The plastic netted "cage" the fan is suspended in has degraded due to extended usage, leaving a sharp edge to poke me. And not in a good way.
I recall the slightly springy mesh seat cushions that we used in simpler times. That is what I was prepared to settle for. However, I may buy this one (pictured below). But I decided to scan all 93 questions to see what folks liked and didn't. Here is the humorous question, #61 making the deep dive well worth it:

Question: Does it help with farting passengers?
Response: I sure hope not.

This is likely that the respondent is hoping: The air intake is down at the driver's legs and NOT strong enough to capture exhaust fumes from your passenger.

I'ts been a month since my last post, and I have much to answer for

I may already have disclosed that I am a tad bit compulsive with my finances. A classic example is that when BritBox looked like a better streaming service for all things BBC ($5.99/mo) I dropped previous source Acorn so as not to pay twice for BBC content. However the contents vary over time so I sometimes miss out - a virtue sacrifice. And these details are at my finger tips not because I recall them (OH NO!) but because it is all in my Quicken, documenting EVERYTHING money related since 1997. It's a great resource for nit-picking obsessing. 

I mention this to gently introduce the really shocking truth: I create a yearly budget which I try mightily to stick to. Unless conditions on the ground shift: for example I added a "Tag" to note expenditures and revenues related to Covid-19. This way I could stay cool while hand sanitizer and face masks blew up my "Misc. personal care" budget category. This is important context for the following financial trap I find myself in. 

I am funding a food source for a scurry of Genus Sciurus Linnaeus (tree squirrels), which I have decided belongs in the aforementioned budget category. This category encompasses personal care items (for cleanliness, and less so, appearance) as well as mood enhancers (pot and now backyard hi jinks). I told myself that putting out bird feeders to attract squirrels was for Cleo (inside cat) who needed at least one reason to be conscious. But as is so often the case it was really for me. They provide delight and hilarity which are thin on the ground these days. I purchased two feeders and a bag of critter food with the intention of upping the scurry factor. But the larger one, hanging close to a major tree limb proved to be the preferred source. The small one, hanging from a puny branch ended up being ideal for the putative target audience. 

 

Hard to see gray squirrel on top of feeder.

 Squirrels must have elite athlete metabolisms. I need to refill the large feeder weekly, which I just weighed out at 1.4 lbs. I have seen as many as 3 squirrels pigging out at one time. The preferred method for food acquisition is to hang upside down, three paws clawed in while the squirrel uses one to swing, tilt and shake the feeder creating a pile below, where they can feed without further exertion.

 The rate at which the food disappears explains why, when I found the critter food on Amazon, and made it a subscription, I was informed that most buyers get a monthly delivery. So, yeah, at 1.4#/week I will need about 6# per month. At 8# bags, I will need 1 bag per month, for about $10. If I cut back on purchased news sources, that will have a two-fold impact: saving my mood and some $$ (to offset mask replacement costs).

 

LOLFDGB twice

 Little old lady (me, sort of) fall down go boom twice in my back yard hazard zone (unpaved portion) which is infested with erupting roots, has a slope, and is generally out to get me. I was tending to my squirrel attractions: feeders and water fountain (ish). I was attempting to use a foot to push down one of three metal stakes that should keep the fountain from blowing over as it is VERY light. I thought that a light weight one would be easy for me to move around. As it developed, I now have sure proof of the concept as I was holding one edge of bowl while using one foot as described above when it happened:

I took tumble to the ground (which IS softer than concrete) and pulled it down with me. this included soaking my clothes, ejecting the wiggler (pictured below) and scuffing my right hand and knee. When I attempted to get up, I teetered and fell again, this time on my left knee and hand. (it made me giggle a bit as I typed out the script for the pratfalls). 

Water Wiggler

I was finally able to get up again, this time MUCH more cautiously, and stay upright. Into the house to take off soaked clothes and wipe 6 scuffed patches on afore mentioned body parts with alcohol, which is a great way to discover what will need antibiotic. I am now sporting 3 large band-aids which I hope to find available on a regular subscription from Amazon. I have applied Arnica and taken some Tylenol. Also, I have photographed the crime scene (also below).

Crime scene

 Excellent analogies from WaPo opinion by Michael Gerson:

Congressional Republicans who criticize Fauci to prove their populist manhood are even more pathetic. Their self-abasement is voluntary. Watching Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) debate science with Fauci during committee hearings is like watching Albert Einstein being disputed by his dry cleaner. Fauci is often reduced to making obvious points in a patient voice. Fauci deserves his Presidential Medal of Freedom just for his heroic forbearance.

All these critics of Fauci have chosen to attack the citadel of science at its strongest point. With squirt guns. While naked and blowing kazoos.

---------------------------------------- 

Now my voice:

A poetic and needlepoint direct hit on all anti-science from the anti-reality crowd. I am appalled that we find ourselves needing to have this school yard smack down over and over, where the punk we are trying to neutralize does not recognize the authority of the teacher, in spite of the fact that this punk is a chronological adult who is really fighting time and tide.

My analogy is not so brief and poetic, but I feel some relief having deployed some electrons in it's dissemination. 

I am recovering from a common, but new to me internet malady: I clicked on an innocent appearing site which I thought would let me download a users manual for my new modem, which was the "solution" to my first problem (losing internet connection and depending on CenturyLink to fix it). This led to the agreement to "pay the ransom" of a new router priced by the extortionist. Hence, my search for the users manual, and hence my being REALLY taken hostage: Malware that locked my computer (ostensibly from Microsoft) that warned that closing this page would require them to disable my computer, or I could "click here" to have them fix it. I did not click there. Instead I called AVG (my antivirus provider) and presto, chango, over two hours and $120 later I had my computer back (and many of my go to things undone). I ended up needing to get a new gmail password, restore my favorite sites home page, and lost my mostly working WiFi connection to my color printer/copier/scanner (which has been a bitch to keep working). So much fun to be had!

I admit, my tolerance for what it takes to do routine and should-be-simple things, and to keep my whole electronic tool kit up and running is losing it's considerable power to charm me (snark).

Interjecting some randomness into my post

First of all, Nancy Reagan has always eeked me out a bit. She seems to have a large head on an impossibly tiny body. Also, have you ever noticed how like Margaret Hamilton's chin hers is. Creepy.

Now on to the next random topic. This piece from Alexandra Petri on April 1st caught my attention.https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/04/01/are-you-brood-x-cicada-or-just-someone-emerging-pandemic-isolation/ It is not something I had previously wondered about, but since Covid, there are fewer improbable realities I am prepared to rule out (my March 26 post ). So I decided to take this quiz:

Are you a Brood X cicada, or just someone emerging from pandemic isolation? 

                                                                                                         

To keep it simple, I have summarized my responses to the 17 questions:

Yes: 

• You have lost all sense of how to interact with others, if indeed you ever possessed it.
• You are no longer a prisoner to conventional beauty standards, if indeed you ever were.
• You are not wearing pants and resent the implication that you will ever be asked to wear real pants again, unsure how the geometry of that would even work.
• Your singing has been described as “cacophonous” and “shrill."
• You have never successfully made sourdough. 
• You are truly uncertain what year it is.
•  If you somehow got into an office, you’d be upset and confused and would want to get out immediately
  

No:  10 no's, so either I am NOT a Brood X cicada, or:

I am lying to myself as usual, 

I did not understand the question, or 

it WAS true of me and I knew it, but cannot let you know it too. I need all the "social" life I have left.