Tuesday, April 21, 2020

If it were'nt for dark humor, I'd have no humor at all

My current favorite purveyor of political snark has done the nearly impossible again: made me laugh out loud, alone, and entirely unaltered by any chemicals save caffeine and my anti-psychotic (which is necessary, but not sufficient these days). Here it is in full (as an excuse to insert my new screen and mood saver):


Powerless to help, Donald Trump worries about incompetent pandemic leadership 

Alexandra Petri

April 20, 2020 

Safe at Home
Why was nobody doing anything? That was the question President Trump kept asking himself, over and over, as he gazed at the United States’ response to the covid-19 pandemic.
“The states have to step up their TESTING!” he tweeted. Why was no one helping them? The United States was supposed to be some kind of a great nation, not a floundering compilation of states, each acting at cross purposes. Why were they bidding against one another for medical essentials? They were one country! Did no one realize that? Why were they being left to solve this alone? Could nobody help them coordinate? He looked on, helpless, as the rate of testing ticked up all too slowly.
It was heartbreaking to see. He sat in front of the television, barely watching baseball (“I’m tired of watching baseball games that are 14 years old,” as he told reporters at a briefing. “But I haven’t actually had too much time to watch. I would say maybe I watch one batter then I get back to work.”), wondering why someone was not working harder to fix the numerous problems the nation, as a whole, faced with the pandemic. Shouldn’t someone be developing a plan? It seemed as though the guidance the states had received about whether to do that had been very mixed!
“Get out there and get the job done,” he tweeted to the governor of New York. If only he were in a position to offer more than verbal encouragement! He was happy to tell governors around the country whether they were doing good jobs or bad jobs, but it frustrated him to see them running low on supplies. Still, seeing New York behave as though it belonged to some larger entity that might be able to obtain more supplies at better prices gave him hope. Perhaps New York had a Costco membership?
“Some governors have gone too far,” he told reporters Sunday evening. “Some of the things that happened are maybe not so appropriate.” The governors were trying to lead, but it seemed to him that they were not doing it in the right way. If he were in charge, he would do things differently, but in the meantime, he hoped that people would protest.
He felt so powerless, staring at the TV, seeing all the reports of how badly things were going. If this country were so great, why was its response so desultory? Why were supplies being confiscated en route to states? Where were those supplies even going? If only he were not powerless to help. If only there were something he could do.