Two of my most endearing (?) foibles have conspired to make this report less whelming that it could have been. Foibles: #1 procrastination of anything requiring yard related effort and #2 a tendency toward exaggeration*. --End of story set up--
On Dec. 30th sometime in the afternoon while I was napping (in preparation to observe the New Year alone and from behind eyelids) a wind gust in the mid 30's created a strange THUMP on my roof. I resumed napping though puzzled. When vertical I checked my roof from the backyard where a large tree looms over part of my roof, expecting to see a big limb. Instead my 9' diameter shade umbrella which (endearing foible #1 led to it's still being opened on it's stand well beyond any usefulness) was lying upside down on my roof.
I knew I needed to snap a pic but did not (again endearing foible #1) which led tragically to the heartbreak of (endearing foible #2) i.e. will my readership believe me?
My boyfriend was a witness to the fact that Umbrella Was On Roof. He will testify under oath.
And the reason I cannot offer pictorial proof (the strongest of proof these days, as photos never lie) is that on Jan. 1st another gust in the mid 30's lifted the umbrella off the roof and deposited it approximately 30 feet away and down in my yard. HONEST. .
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I have spent several days trying to insert pics "proving" the strange journey of my restless umbrella. This is me giving up that attempt to make use of a photo editor software on which I have only mastered the most basic functions. My new and "improved" Blogger software also makes placing photos more problematic and less esthetic.
Anyhoo......... this is the landing spot for the first leg of my umbrella's journey. This leg required a minimum vertical distance of 12 feet combined with a SE shift of approximately 10 feet. If I knew it's weight (and I had not performed poorly in my first college physics course) I could perhaps calculate the necessary force to accomplish this. Let's just agree, that it was sufficient to get it airborne, but less than enough to clear the roof-line in it's bid for freedom.
This photo shows the culmination of the second leg of the disappointing fight to see more of the world, which resulted in 12 foot loss of altitude and about 30 feet to the NW.
In summary, my Boyfriend can attest to the umbrella residing at both locations. It is once again secured in it's stand and awaiting a bath and proper winter storage. (Good luck with THAT (again endearing foible #1).
And finally, this article headline in the WaPo today** is a Classic solution in search of a problem.
6 recipes to use up the bottle of wine you opened last night
*I nearly used hyperbole instead, but I prefer to consider my embellishments for entertainment purposes to be "realistic", which a hyperbole fails to be.
**It was "today" when I started this blighted blog. But I just checked and the link still works.